Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Many Blessings...None of them Deserved

I have been blessed by the Lord. I have done nothing by my own strength. Every good thing in my life (and there are so many) is not mine because I am good or deserving.It is not because I have earned it. It is only because of God's overflowing mercy and grace that I have accomplished anything.
     Before He pulled me to salvation, I was drifting aimlessly in this world. I had only done wicked things for my own gain, and had gained nothing as a result. All that I had were memories of sin and trials and hardship. I was self-serving, hateful, angry, depressed, without love, alone, and I made excuses for my circumstances and my actions. I was the worst of sinners. I hated my family. I even despised my own parents and rebelled against them as soon as I was able. I drank and fornicated. I cut class like I was too good for learning. It was abominable.
     When I finally had nowhere to go and no one to help me, I asked my mother and my aunt to take me in. I had been attending church for a few months and figured I was right with the Lord. I was so arrogant and so wrong. I was so sinful. Constantly.
     Over the course of that few months, I had gotten very involved in my church. I joined the choir, went on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights, found me a Sunday school class that felt like home to me, and got plugged into a book study. It was in that book study going through "What Makes a Healthy Church Member?" that I realized how desperately wicked I truly was. I sinned constantly! I was in sin against my mother by the disrespect I showed her. I was in sin with the music I listened to. I was finding ways to sin that were easily hidden from the people at church, but slowly ate at my soul.
     I asked the Lord to give me a desire to serve Him. To give me a true salvation. I prayed that for a long while. I wanted that passion and that desire to serve, but I didn't have it, and I knew there was only one way to get it. I asked God for it.
     He has blessed me with so much more than I deserve in that. He has blessed me with a healthy relationship with my family. He blessed me with the means to move forward and make something of this life He chose to give me. Best of all, He gave me a passion for evangelism. I cannot talk to someone without sharing the faith that He gave me with them. And I am grateful, because even some of my family members have a shallow half-faith like I had. He has granted me the chance to serve Him totally. It is a blessing and an honor, and I am humbled.

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